What could this be?

22 02 2010

Is this the new office for a successful corporation?  A fancy new leisure centre?  A fancy hotel?

Nope.  None of those.

It’s a new prison in the UK!

Prison vs Work

Just in case you ever get these two environments mixed up, this should make things a little bit clearer.

@ Prison:

You spend the majority of your time in a 10X10 cell

@ Work:

You spend the majority of your time in an 6X6 cubicle

@ Prison:

You get three meals a day fully paid for

@ Work:

You get a break for one meal and you have to pay for it

@ Prison:

You get time off for good behavior

@ Work:

You get more work for good  behaviour

@ Prison:

The guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you

@ Work:

You must often carry a security card and open all the doors for yourself

@ Prison:

You can watch TV and play games

@ Work:

You could get fired for watching TV and playing games

@ Prison:

You get your own toilet

@ Work:

You have to share the toilet with some people who pee on the seay

@ Prison:

They allow your family and friends to visit

@ Work:

You aren’t even supposed to speak to your family

@ Prison:

All expenses are paid by the taxpayers with no work required

@ Work:

You get to pay all your expenses to go   to work, and they deduct taxes from your salary to pay for prisoners

@ Prison:

You spend most of your life inside bars wanting to get out

@ Work:

You spend most of your time wanting to get out and go inside bars

@ Prison:

You must deal with sadistic wardens

@ Work:

They are called managers

Now all they need is conjugal visits, then I’ll be more than happy to ‘sign up’.

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5 responses

22 02 2010
merv

i prefered when i had to shit in a bucket.Fuck the fucking Fuckers

22 02 2010
Jack'd Ripp'd

With prisons like that, I know where I’ll be going when I retire!

You’re right though.

“Fuck the fucking Fuckers”

If that is a deterrent, a slap on the wrist must be a weekend at the seaside. Would be laughable but due to the consequences, is more frightening!

23 02 2010
extant

omg, 21st Century Socialism; for Rape they be giving flowers out to the defendants now.

ROPE !!

25 02 2010
rugfish

Lol Jack,

I think the concealed lighting and pot plant are very nice but I couldn’t help wondering where the pokey was. Do they ‘actually’ lock people up in there (er, have bedrooms), or is it open to the public like other less modern leisure facilities?

25 02 2010
Jack'd Ripp'd

It’s probably a Cat D prison, although that place, including the ‘bedrooms’ with that large bay window, better than some of the places I’ve stayed at.

Looks more like a 4 star hotel than any deterrent I’ve ever seen. At least I know where to go if I’m ever homeless.

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