Genius | Cure for toothache

12 08 2010

As implied in previous postings, I am in the midst of suffering from a toothache.  For the last two weeks, since the enamel on the side of my right-hand side top molar, right at the frikking back, slipt of, and by the way, had a tricky exit too, have been in agony rating from a mild dull beep to the height of a frikking sharp beep every nano-frikking-second.

So I tried Nurofen Plus.  Shite.  I tried dope.  Shite.  I tried some mouthwash with the additional of magical cloves.  Okayish but I can’t stand mint unless it’s with lamb.  So I tried pure Clove oil.  Okay but tastes of shite with a hint of aniseed.  Plus, it rots your gums and that’s no good, swapping toothache for gumache.  So what could I do…?

So lo and behold, I place a small amount of Scotland’s finest water on it, then unicorns and rainbows appear.  Oh yeah, and a few pints of Crazy Numbers too (Kronenberg for the uninitiated).  So until I am made redundant and thus entitled to free dentistry, I shall mostly be merry, or if you prefer, three sheets to the wind (again for the uninitiated, that means full-blown-sailor-drunk steaming who deserves an ASBO).

And for those fuming at the prospect of having Government paying for my dentures, remember, I’ve paid in too.  Unlike you though, I expect to get my money back and then some.  It was my forefathers in the pits.  And if you think I’m joining the same queue, your as blind as the fools who voted in the LibLabCon.

On a biblical note, woe’e me, the last few months it seems that the Good Lord is using myself as the guinea pig for some new ailment to foul the human race.  From chest infections to ingrowing toenails, all I need now is a broken arm and a ligament tear and I’ll have a full deck.

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