Mmm | Practical solutions to fairytale problems

14 12 2010

Being unemployed I have plenty of time between bouts of begging for work and petty shoplifting for pondering life’s bigger problems.  Of course, being as poor as a Church dormouse, I haven’t the facilities to pontificate and investigate these ideas and considering I’m perhaps the worst salesman in the world, I could never prostitute myself before the Dragons on that God-awful but damn addictive Beeb show.

Enough of the waffling, down to the brass tacks.  Also, please note that my technical expertise comes from reading manuals so I’m not professing to be Einstein here, hopefully someone else can put it together.

The energy crisis.

Exercise bikes hooked onto a pulley type system which could multiply the output to run a small generator.  Imagine hundreds of thousands of these things hooked into the grid.  Possibly could be a paid scheme open to all with a 50 watts equals a penny prize.

True People Green Power that also promotes individuals to improve their health and physical well-being.

Global Warming:  Specifically, rising sea levels

Considering the success of underwater tunnelling and the very impressive man-made islands of Arabia, we already have the tools to extract large amounts of mass from the ocean floor to the surface.

So with a little modification, considering the warmists insist that sea levels will rise, why not begin a construction project of taking large tracts of the seabed?  We can then use materials gleaned from the bottom incorporating it into our raw resources.

Overpopulation, Land and Employment creation

No two-ways about it, we even start concreteing over our Green and Pleasant Land, or we start to look at technology.  And no, I’m not going to cease breeding to ‘save the planet’, in fact, the more upstanding Britons, the better, remember, we’re a Global Minority, and according to some UN reports, there are more gays in the global population than us Anglo-Saxons.

Now, I’m not suggesting we do it the Arabian way and make fancy sandy islands, oh no, we are the land of Brunel, MacIntosh, Wren, Stephenson and Bell…  we will need something much more grander.

I suggest reclaiming the coastline with vast batteries of floating habitats, offices, water treatment and purification plants and even corporate industrial complexes with their energy needs all aided by the natural bobble of these structures to power water pump turbines that sit below.

The benefits would be outnumber any detrimental effects caused by such a developement.  One of the least important reasons for this enterprise is if indeed the water-levels are raising, it would be wise to encourage some of the population to live upon the waves, just in case.  The economical reasoning behind it is if land is expensive, surely we should be doing everything to increase our ‘portfolio’, and apart from annexing Normandy (we do have a legitimate claim to it after all), employing many to construct new land would be a lot safer than conducting Operation D-Day again.

Another benefit, and this would be the unique location atop of the ocean, where it would be possible to ‘farm’ all types of seaweed efficiently for use in fuels and medicines (I’m sure an extract is used some medicines).

An environmental benefit is the cover it can provide for all manner of life, which means increased fish which means cheaper Cod.

Hope you enjoyed these ideas.  But be warned, if I ever see said projects taking shape, I’ll be expecting a dedication (and perhaps a kickback), although even a name drop of the blog would do, God knows I could do with the hits 😉




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